Meet Bob

They say cancer isn’t contagious, I beg to differ.  My entire family is living with cancer now.  I have seen cancer change every single one of my family members.  Cancer changes the way you see, hear, feel and think.  Cancer even alters the way you look.

When I look back at pictures of myself a year and a half ago I barely recognize that person.  I look entirely different now.  I accepted losing my hair better than I thought I would and embraced those extra pounds that accompany hormone receptive cancer.  I have tried very hard not to allow vanity to sneak in and rob me of my happiness.  When I look at photos of family now I immediately look at our smiles first and that is how I judge whether it is a good picture or not.

If you have met or seen my youngest daughter, Daisy Mae, then you know that this girl was born and raised Texan, big hair and all.  We actually named her after our grandmothers, Daisy and Anna May.  While honoring their memories was our initial intention, the name could not suit this sassafras any better.  She likes big bows, lots of jewelry and dressing up.

You can imagine our surprise recently,  when she stated, “I am cutting off my hair into a bob”.  Envious of her long locks, I did everything in my power to dissuade her.  Yes, even bribery.  Each day as I brushed through her curly, long hair we discussed this “bob”.  I began to hate “bob” more and more.  Here I am trying to make what little hair I have look like a female style and yet bob kept creeping in.  I went to great lengths (no pun intended) to put “bob” out of our minds.  Selfishly, I was struggling with letting her hair go, too.  Sounds rather foolish typing it now but I was envious of her locks and angry that she would just cut them off on a whim.   Of course I did everything in my power to hide these emotions from her trying to force a fake smile into the conversation each time “bob” was discussed.

Just when I thought I had her talked out of it, Daisy said to me, “I want to give my hair to all of those children who have cancer like you Mommy”.  Bob didn’t sound like such a bad guy anymore.

Cancer is contagious.  We are all living with this beast and adjusting and adapting our lives accordingly.  The lessons aren’t all bad though.  I judged “bob” before I even knew what he was all about.  As it turns out he is pretty darn adorable.